XI.

I tried

I tried,

I tried choking the life of my dreams of you

I tried bleeding the feelings,

hoping I would run out of them one day

I tried isolating the thoughts to give them an anonymous death

I tried running away from the intimacy my heart promised

I tried kneeling to corruption

I tried pledging allegiance

I tried travelling

I tried music

I tried writing

I tried looking away

But the more I tried,

The more I was portaled back to your thoughts.

The more I bottled, the more poetry unsettled me.

The more I braved, the more your cackle pierced my defences

The more I kept busy, more pointless the hustle seemed

The more I moved places, the more I missed you in the city

And the more I kept myself lonely, the more I realised how much I wanted to be loved.

BY.

YOU.

I am sorry.

Ayushmaan Mishra · 2024-01-21